Dearest Parents,
I know things are tough right now for parents in the U.S. and for allparents, given the U.S. election. I’m asking you wonderful parents to write and share what they are figuring out about talking with their young people about this election. And of course, this Parent’s List is also a good place to ask questions you might have about this.
In the meantime, here are a few thoughts and reminders:
1. Discharge, discharge and discharge, when you can. Don’t be hard on yourselves if parents oppression doesn’t allow you the time, but do put yourselves first. Our young people will be reassured when they see us with attention.
2. Play with your young people. Play will be reassuring and will also make it more possible for them to have bigger sessions. Don’t underestimate laughter. Laughing, in itself, is fabulous.
3. Don’t be surprised if they have sessions about things that don’t aren’t directly about the election. Any excuse to discharge is a good one.
4. Answer their questions about the election. Be reassuring. Tell about how people are coming together to organize and fight for their rights and we will stand up for all people. Ask them what they are hearing at school or online. Ask for their thinking. You can also think together about why people voted in ways they might not agree with.
5. You may have already talked about how oppression works, but you can explain to them how sexism, racism, classism, anti-immigrant, anti-Semitism and gay oppressions were operating here. Of course how you talk to them about this depends on their age. Short pieces of info are good. Don’t overload them with info. Say one or two things and then listen. Mostly listen.
6. Remind them that all people are good. I spoke with one parent whose child asked if she could still like the kids whose parents voted for Trump. She reassured her daughter that we get to love everyone!
7. We need to give girls and boys info about girls and boys liberation. With girls the path is clear—we get to come together and fight for girls and our power. We are strong and smart. I think boys, especially teenage boys, feel very alone with what’s going on. I’ve heard from a mom of a teenage girl—her daughter told her that the girls are all hugging each other and crying, while the boys are being mostly silent. We need to give boys a picture of how good boys are and how the society, not girls, makes things harder for them. We get to listen to them about how they see boys treated when they show feelings and ask them what they notice about the messaging about boys and men.
There is so much more to say, but I want to hear from you. Please write with your thoughts and your questions.
Love,
Marya Axner