My cousin, L—, died last week. She is being buried this morning. I could not go to mourn her death. I could not attend her funeral because I live in the city and work with people from different parts of the world. I am a risk to myself and to my village where my cousin died.
According to my community, I am being selfish and inconsiderate. Who will come to support me during my time of loss?
Most of the people in the village are older generation and are already sickly. They are the ones relied upon to look after [care for] their sick relatives who have been kicked out of hospitals because they are not getting well fast enough.
You must understand that the hospitals in this part of the world were already overcrowded long before the coronavirus came about. In general, people who are chronically ill are just given medication and told to go home. Many people need care. It is often the elderly who look after the sick because they are not employed.
The younger generation will try to find work. Even if they can’t find work, they will hang around the cities and towns, where they are at a much higher risk of exposure, because this is where everyone converges, including people from high-risk areas.
On weekends, the town people generally go back to their villages to visit their parents and the sick ones they have left behind. This is what most responsible people do because they still have to provide for their parents. Only this time they take the coronavirus with them. Most are still healthy and may not be suffering any symptoms.
The reality of social distancing means we can’t continue our usual practices and protect our loved ones at the same time. I’m afraid it may already be too late because our government was much too slow in stopping external travel. Until a week ago people were free to travel in and out of the country as they pleased. We had celebrations that were attended by thousands of people, including visitors from Europe who mingled freely with the participants.
When I learned about my cousin’s death, I struggled to console my aunt over the phone, trying to explain to her why it was not safe for her and the rest of the community if “too many people” from the city came to the village.
Our government has no testing facilities and relies entirely on South Africa to conduct tests. Not everyone gets tested because until today only people who have travelled have been required to go for testing. Yesterday the government reported that one of the people who tested positive for the virus had not traveled anywhere. Nobody has a clue as to where they could have gotten the virus. The government is still investigating instead of telling people what “community transition” means. [It means that the source of the infection or transmission is unknown.] They have been telling people that unless they have travelled, they are not at risk.
So how does one enforce social distancing against the strong cultural values of community? It takes a generation to change a culture. Swazis are a communal people. We do things together. The community joins together in happiness and in death. We celebrate when somebody is born. We celebrate when they marry. When somebody dies, we mourn together. We attend the funeral together. This is who we are. This is true for most communities and villages across the whole African continent.
It is one of the few things we have held on to despite the effects of colonialism, imperialism, and capitalism (which promote individualism). And now we have to learn to keep apart because of some stupid virus. Please forgive me for being angry (a good thing because for many weeks I have been numb).
This is hitting me where it hurts the most. Having to tell my family that I cannot be with them in their time of grief in order to protect them is the hardest thing I have had to do this year. I love my family, and my cousin was dear to me.
What I struggle with the most is people’s denial about the threat posed by the virus. Most people go around thinking that they are “safe” when they are unknowingly putting others at risk. Even worse, most people have given up and resigned themselves to “come what may” because it is written in the Bible about the “end of days.”
As an RC Community we are trying hard to stay connected. That, too, is hard because we have to rely more and more on technology. In order to connect via Zoom we need more Community members using smartphones. We cannot afford that because the price of data is prohibitive. Prices are fixed because of greed.
So how do my Community and I hold to our intelligence and figure out new solutions to the challenges we face when everything seems so dim? I want to remain hopeful.
What is clear to me is that social distancing alone is not enough. Not only is it impossible to enforce in our culture, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that many more people are already carrying the virus. For me, it is how do we keep the death rate of those that are most at risk at a minimum? It is a fact that we cannot rely on the government or the hospitals. Hospital staff are already shunning patients that are “too ill,” because they have not been provided adequate protective clothing.
I know that there must be a way. I have faith in RC. It is the only thing that has not yet failed me. I know that together we can figure out a way. My Community depends on it.