Early Distresses, Oppression, and Sleep
Yay for sleep! And for thinking and discharging about sleep. [See previous article.]
Most young children don’t reliably get the chance to sleep when they are tired, to wake up and be close to people when they are ready to be awake, to be as energetic and lively as they would like to be when they are awake, to cry when they need to, or to wrestle and laugh when things get too scary to relax.
As babies, many of us woke up from sleep with hard feelings and cried. For some of us, someone came when we cried but usually couldn’t pay attention as we discharged the hurt that we needed to get out. Often their goal was to “get us back to sleep.” For others of us, no one came when we cried. We might have gotten to cry a bit longer, because no one interrupted us, but eventually we gave up in isolation and fell asleep.
As children, many of us had to handle hard things when we needed to be sleeping, were awakened before we were done sleeping, or had bedtimes that were rigidly enforced. Many of us didn’t have thoughtful people around to help us with the things that felt scary about going to sleep or staying asleep. Children can sleep much better if they first get to play hard, be actively engaged with reality, roughhouse, be close, and discharge.
I think the scientific research on how sleep needs change over people’s lives is interesting and good to pay some attention to. For example, some research shows that older adults need less sleep at night and more naps during the day. I’ve heard older adults say that they feel bad about getting sleepy during the day, but perhaps they just need to sleep more in the day than they used to.
We also know that distress and oppression are big factors, and most researchers don’t understand discharge and re-evaluation or how hard oppression and class societies are on people. This doesn’t necessarily invalidate the results of their research, but the results may be different when these things are understood. And they may be quite different in the context of a non-exploitative society.
In the meantime, worrying and feeling bad never help anything. Let’s aim for re-emerging from distress and being our real selves (including in the area of sleep). Let’s aim for radically transforming our societies.
Sometimes the re-emergent or revolutionary act might be getting plenty of sleep. Sometimes it might be doing something else that means we don’t get enough sleep. But as we work toward a non-exploitative society, it seems important to think about building a world in which children and adults get to sleep and rest when they need to.
Oakland, California, USA
Reprinted from the e-mail discussionlist for RC Community members
(Present Time 198, January 2020)