Working on Anti-Semitism During Lent
This winter one of my dear Jewish Co-Counseling buddies and I, who are also longtime friends outside of RC, got involved in an old familiar conflict. He suggested that I spend some session time on anti-Semitism.
I had been thinking about what to “give up” for Lent, so I decided to use that time of prayer, reflection, and greater awareness to discharge where my patterns of anti-Semitism continue to influence me and our friendship.
Over the next weeks I had many sessions in which I told stories about how my parents had related to the Jewish families in our neighborhood and how confusing their upsets had been for me. I had made friends with my Jewish peers and had noticed where we had different beliefs and practices, but I had also recognized that everyone appreciated kindness, being included, and having fun. I had seen that they wanted to fit in and be liked, just like I did. My parents desperately wanted to be liked but had struggled with old prejudices. They had viewed our Jewish neighbors with suspicion and sometimes targeted them with anger and excluded them.
I also worked on oppressor patterns that make me feel disconnected from myself as a man, a white person, and a Catholic. I remembered when I had learned about the RC goal to end racism. I had been enthusiastic, but clueless about where to begin. Thankfully, I had been Co-Counseling regularly with a woman of the Global Majority and had learned about a racist pattern connected with my feeling bad about myself: I would often take her actions personally. Recognizing this was a step toward noticing any oppressive pattern, including anti-Semitism!
My re-evaluations from my Lenten counseling sessions included realizing that I feel fear all the time and always have. In one session, when I was feeling bad about myself and attributing it to a recent interaction with a friend, my direction was, “I don’t need (my friend), or anyone else, for me to feel afraid.” A lot of laughter followed. I became aware of an old pattern I had grown up with and dragged through my adult life. Yes, my feelings are mine.
I also decided repeatedly to give up being a victim—to take charge, to be an active ally and friend in all situations. This contradicted feelings of disconnection. I was reminded that I love many Jews and would never dream of hurting them.
It wasn’t long before I had a chance to be helpful to my friend, and I was much more able to be the friend I wanted to be. He suggested that I write about my experience.
Albany, New York, USA
Reprinted from the RC e-mail
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