The Leverage to Choose Differently
At the recent Ashkenazi Jews Eliminating White Racism Workshop, I worked on a memory from kindergarten. I had been playing all day with a Mizrachi Jewish girl. On our way home, she suddenly showed fear and insecurity, and I became angry and impatient with her for showing what I now know was internalized racism. In my session, I realized that I had actually been mad at her for leaving me—in her mind. My racism had come from feeling abandoned by her.
I lose patience around People of the Global Majority when the hurts of internalized racism show, because I take it personally. I feel like they are choosing their distress over being close to me. I could cry about this for a long time.
That I get lost in my own hurts around People of the Global Majority and pin my feelings of abandonment on them is a way that I act out my own racism. Understanding this gives me the leverage to choose differently.
New York, New York, USA
Reprinted from the RC e-mail
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