Contradicting the Oppression of Ex-inmates
I was at the East Coast USA Ex-inmate (Zoom) Workshop [for psychiatric ex-inmates] in December 2020.
It is challenging to counsel about my “mental health” story. The material [distress] is easily restimulated. When I’m working on “mental health” oppression, directions that may work for me on other topics may not work. Anything that seems like analyzing, interpreting, advising, protecting, fixing, or managing can make me shut down [lose my attention].
Distress recordings from having been hospitalized as a “mental patient” overlap with those from being Queer, Catholic, female, and middle class. Other ex-inmates may have similar or different recordings. I’d love to hear from more of us. I’ve become aware of the following recordings:
- “I can’t think. I don’t have a mind. My brain doesn’t work.” In the hospital they tell you your brain doesn’t work. Psychiatric drugs can lay in recordings of “I can’t think.” “Experts” tell you they know more than you do. Contradictions [to the recordings]: “My mind works fine. It’s a beautiful example of how a human mind can work.” “Let me be in total control of my session. Follow my mind.” “Just discharge a little; the thoughts will come to you—this is exactly how our minds work.”
- Difficulty asking for help. The “help” offered in the “mental health” system wasn’t helpful. Most people had no attention to listen to what had happened to me and no idea what was helpful. Contradictions: Remind me that you are here, want to be close to me, and want to think about me well. Encourage me to reach toward you with my mind.
- Deep mistrust. I was told I was getting help and that people were thinking about me when it wasn’t true. Contradiction: Let me tell you how unhelpful “you” are and how little “you” know, without getting confused about me or about yourself.
- Expecting to be mistreated. In the hospital we were mistreated and told it was “for our own good.” I have a tendency to end up in unhealthy relationships. I have low expectations for relationships and feel like I don’t deserve to be treated well. Reality: It’s important that people treat me well.
- “My material is dangerous, worse than other people’s, and I am hard for people to think about.” I’m afraid to get close to people because I may end up being mistreated again. It’s dangerous to “not have my material under control” (to appear emotional) because it confuses people. Reality: I am not letting my material run my life. It’s still good to get close to people. With discharge, I can figure out how to set up relationships well. Many people find it easy to think well about me. My material is not worse than other people’s, but many people need to be taught how to think about me.
- Shame, humiliation, and self-blame. I feel like what happened is my fault. Reality: I did great under the circumstances. The oppression really is that bad.
- Trying to “look good.” I try not to show distress in order not to get targeted with more “mental health” oppression. Contradiction: I can tell you what’s going on [happening] in my mind and how bad it feels, without being interrupted or reassured.
WHAT I'D LIKE FROM ALLIES
Here is what I would like from my allies:
- Ask me what I’d like from you as an ally (we each want different things).
- Discharge enough to make jokes about difficult topics like suicide recordings and being hospitalized.
- Discharge feeling better or smarter than other people. Discharge “savior” material and pulls to act cool. Discharge pulls to direct your client’s session in a way that makes you feel good about yourself as a counselor; on wanting to find the perfect direction, make the client cry, have the client realize how smart you are and how much you understand, and so on.
USA
Reprinted from the RC e-mail discussion list for leaders of “mental health” liberation
(Present Time 203, April 2021)