Reclaiming My Creativity
When I was in grade one in school, my music teacher gave me a piece of music to sing. When I couldn’t do it well, she said, “What’s the matter with you? Don’t you know your people can sing?” I grew up in an all-white community except for my family. I had already gotten the message that being Black was not good—and then I was told I couldn’t even do that right. I didn’t open my mouth to sing in public again for forty years.
That experience, plus the other racism and sexism I faced in school, set me up for many years of not feeling “enough”—not Black enough, not smart enough, not creative enough, and so on—so I was pleased last year to join some Reclaiming Creativity classes led by Emily Feinstein (International Liberation Reference Person for Visual Artists). They were especially welcoming for me because there were so many Black people and other People of the Global Majority in attendance, and the international scope gave me a sense of not being alone and that my struggles and sense of failure were global instead of personal.
Space was made for some of us to attend the callout to Black folks from Barbara Love (International Liberation Reference Person for African Heritage People) after the death of George Floyd, even though it took place during class time. A make-up class was organized, and Emily sent out notes from the missed class.
I especially enjoyed a class in which we each shared something we had created. I brought an audio recording of an interview I had done. It was great to share it in a supportive place and to see how truly creative we all are.
Here are some things I learned in the classes:
- We can’t reclaim something we don’t already have. I was born creative, got hurt, and then just needed to discharge in order to reclaim my creativity.
- Everything we do is creative. How I organize my bureau drawers is creative. How I set up my living room is creative. How I plant my garden is creative. How I put words together whenever I write is creative. I am creative when I plan my RC Area meetings and classes. Everything I do is creativity in action.
I am now much more ready to explore and reclaim my creativity. I have started playing the saxophone again. I attended a musicians’ gathering and have signed up for an artists’ workshop.
Thank you, Emily, for pushing me in the direction I needed to go to fully reclaim my inherent creative self.
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Reprinted from the RC e-mail discussion list for leaders of artists
(Present Time 203, April 2021)