The Joy of Being a Mother
Thirty-nine years ago, I became a mother. I was thirty-two years old. Until I started Re-evaluation Counseling two years prior, I had never wanted to be a mother. I loved being with young people, but an undischarged commitment to my young self had me wanting to liberate young people from their parents.
Today, as I did thirty-nine years ago and have done every year on this day, my whole self feels the total joy of becoming a mother. I was raised Christian, and suddenly I understood the Nativity scene—kings, shepherds, and animals stood in worship of a newborn. All newborns deserve a community of caring people, full of joy and fun. They all deserve that much honour. Their openness, vulnerability, looking out, and wanting—is extraordinary. I cry as I write this.
I am so glad that I am a mother, to have that degree of connection totally available. I’ve learned so much. It is powerful to receive a look that says both “I expect the best of you” and “You are just right exactly as you are”—two positions that can seem in contradiction but are not.
I love loving so fully. I love playing so fully. I love the permission to be silly. I love living with the deep meaning that caring offers so fully.
I love myself for trying as hard as I knew how and still making huge mistakes.
I love watching my daughter be a mother and the years collapsing and expanding to encompass everything.
I love the role that an understanding of discharge has played and am proud to have brought that to the current and I hope future generations. It is so exciting to witness unfolding minds and hearts when people, especially young people, understand and use the discharge process.
England
(Present Time 203, April 2021)