Parents, Their Children, and School
Hello wonderful parents,
It’s always been hard to be a parent. And things are getting ever harder. Parents’ oppression is becoming more obvious and unbearable. It’s very hard to work at a job that pays money and at the same time do the job of parenting, a job that doesn’t pay money. It’s impossibly hard if you are a single parent, or being exposed to COVID at your job, or both. It’s impossibly hard if you’ve lost your job and have no income to support your family. It’s hard for every parent during COVID, no matter what. We and our children are suffering from the oppression.
I joined a group of parents in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA, led by Chuck Esser (the International Commonality Reference Person for Family Work), to talk about what to do in the fall with our children. Parent support groups can help parents decide whether or not to send their children back to school. They can help parents decide what to do if they don’t send them back. Some parents do have choices. They might not be great choices, but they can’t wait for others to decide for them.
As Chuck pointed out, “Nobody has a plan.” The situation changes on a daily basis. The U.S. government is not interested in giving support or guidance. We have to think for ourselves. What makes sense for us and our children? We can think about this. We can come together with other parents and allies and discharge on it. We can each figure out the best possible solution. It won’t be perfect, there’s a good chance it will be inadequate, but we can discharge and decide on the best choice.
We may need to work on early times in our lives when things were unpredictable. When we were small, we had no idea what would happen moment to moment. When we were babies, someone could walk out of a room and we might not know if they would ever return. There is a lot of unpredictability now. We can discharge on our early fears that are restimulated by the current situation.
Chuck also pointed out that we don’t have to feel bad about ourselves when things don’t go as we’d hoped. It will be hard, no matter what. If we need to make adjustments, we can. But we still get to back [support] ourselves and be pleased with the decisions we make.
Whatever we decide, we need to be involved with the people in our schools and neighborhoods. We need to guide people so they can think about our children. Everyone is struggling. Everyone could use our thinking, our leadership, and our caring. We can listen to and help people. Things will go better for our children if we do. This is also an extraordinary time for getting out RC ideas. People are open to them.
The U.S. president is saying that schools must open in the fall and that children must attend in person, no matter how damaging that might be to both parents and children. Why is this so important to him? It is because it will allow parents to go to work, which is key to opening up the economy, which is the most important thing to capitalists. Let us pause for a moment and think about the leverage we have as parents in this situation.
If you don’t have a parents’ support group, I encourage you to find a few parents or allies to discharge with about these issues. I encourage you to write to this discussion list about what you have figured out. It doesn’t have to be long; a few sentences will do [be enough].
Somerville, Massachusetts, USA
Reprinted from the RC e-mail discussion list for leaders of parents
(Present Time 201, October 2020)