A Support Group of Men of Arab and Indigenous North African Heritage
In May 2020 the first meeting was held of an online RC support group of six men of Arab and Indigenous North African heritage. Four were Moroccans living in Morocco, and two were Lebanese living in the United States. Five spoke fluent Arabic. The Moroccans all had Indigenous North African (Amazigh) heritage. One was mixed heritage—Arab and Amazigh. All were Muslim. The Lebanese both had Christian heritage: Maronite Catholic and Melkite. Four were young adults.
After introductions, theory was shared and the time was divided for discharge. We were all happy with this rare opportunity to see and be with each other as a group. Here is an outline of my theory talk:
Ahlan [“Welcome” in Arabic]! Welcome to the first meeting of the Arab and Indigenous Men’s Support Group.
This is a Re-evaluation Counseling support group. In RC there are many kinds of support groups: for women, working-class people, parents, young people, and so on. Being in a group of people with similar experiences can help create safety for discharge.
The main thing we do in a support group is divide the time for discharge.
We are all counselors giving our best attention to the client. We also have a primary counselor. I will be happy to be your primary counselor, or you can choose another experienced counselor.
Re-evaluation Counseling has not been easy for us men. Society oppresses us and makes it difficult for us to show our feelings and discharge them, especially in the presence of other men.
Instead of supporting human relationships and safety, society tries to separate men by training us to hurt each other, compete with each other, show that we are better than another man, exploit each other economically, and sometimes violently attack each other. This is part of the divide-and-conquer strategy of oppressive societies in many places around the world.
One thing that will help us in our healing process is for us to make close, caring connections with each other. We need to be good to each other and create a safe place with each other as men so that we can take the risk of showing our hurts and discharging with each other.
Re-evaluation Counseling theory assumes that we are all good men who sometimes do things that are not so good because we have been hurt many times throughout our lives. It started when we were young and not allowed to heal the hurt. We are all intelligent, and that becomes clear as we discharge distress. We have big hearts. We have courage. We are cooperative and powerful and enjoy life and other people.
We start with respect, and part of respect is taking equal turns to be listened to and discharge in this group.
Here are some comments from the men:
- Brother, thank you for this initiative. It was an amazing session.
- A huge thanks for hosting this support group! I was so glad to see new faces, and I’m looking forward to our future meetings.
- Salam dear brother, my Gouma [“Brother” in Amazigh]. I am very happy to have participated in this first support group of men online, which was so successful. I am glad to have met new people with the same interest in building a united Community. I like the way you conducted this group. Thank you to all the participants, especially to Sustaining All Life for the efforts made to help us work on our feelings. The listening sessions working on our memories are a great help in freeing ourselves from emotional distress.
Los Angeles, California, USA
(Present Time 201, October 2020)