On Being Counselor
I was part of the just concluded Black Liberation and Community Development Workshop (BLCD) led on Zoom by Barbara Love (International Liberation Reference Person for African Heritage People). Sharing my language and culture with so many people felt good. I also met amazing people and learned a lot.
I have lots of highlights but wanted to quickly share one of them before everyone gets to their next session, just as a reminder. I remember Barbara saying the following:
Counselor dos and don’ts
- Listen, listen, listen.
- Give your natural loving attention to the client.
- Do not let your voice take over [dominate] the session.
- Limit directions.
- Allow the client to listen to their own mind.
- Trust the mind of the client to know what they need to do.
- Do not tell the client what to work on.
- Pay close attention to your client.
- Do not give advice.
- Do not try to fix or solve their problem.
- Do not mention your problem that sounds like theirs and talk about how you handled it.
- Preserve and protect your relationship (confidentiality).
- Do show the client that you trust their thinking. Encourage the client to listen to their own mind and thinking.
- Do not spend time worrying if you are enough or if you should say more, because you’re enough. If you worry about whether you have the right direction or contradiction [to distress] for the client, it means your attention is on you.
- Don’t try to be the best counselor they ever had; just be the counselor they need right now.
- Be comfortable with silence; don’t worry that you have to do something or fill up the space.
- Always listen, listen, listen.
Sharpening your skills as a Co-Counselor also depends on you yourself having lots and lots of discharge.
Bauchi City, Bauchi State, Nigeria
(Present Time 201, October 2020)
Last modified: 2022-12-25 10:17:04+00