Giving Away My Money: A Ten-Year Project
I am a thirty-year-old mixed-heritage Jewish female. My maternal grandfather brought our family into the owning class by starting an electronics company in the 1960s. The company is privately held, and the profits continue to be shared within our family even though my grandfather has passed [died]. My uncle and cousin (both first-born sons) continue to run the company. Some of their biggest contracts are with the U.S. Department of Defense and Raytheon, a weapons manufacturer, which means a significant amount of the company profits are derived from war.
Investments were made in the names of each of us grandchildren when we were born in the 1980s and early 1990s. These investments grew exponentially over the last thirty years because of the extractive and exploitative economic policies of the United States. This is the money I gave away this year. It was a culminating moment in a long-term project toward regaining connection and rebuilding integrity.
Since I joined RC ten years ago, I have been discharging on my owning-class identity. It is harder to work on than other identities because I feel relatively more stupid and unable to think well in the area. I guess this is how it is with oppressor identities! Below are the directions that have been useful to me.
DIRECTION ONE: WORKING FOR A LIVING
During the last ten years I have built a middle-class life and career, separate from inherited wealth, as a classroom teacher. My spouse works for our city government. Together we have purchased a small home, with a mortgage, in a neighborhood where we now have lots of friends and where there’s a strong RC Community.
Having a “regular” job puts me in contact with working people of all class backgrounds. It is a contradiction to the material [distress] that says as an owning-class person I am special or better than anyone else. I still work to resist the recording that says I need to be impressive! I struggle alongside all my fellow teachers and am proud to be a building representative for our union, which also represents working-class district employees. I have changed jobs over the years to position myself in a school district that pays decently well and has reasonable expectations for us.
Neither of my parents worked for a living, instead pursuing “passion projects.” From what I can tell [perceive], there is a relationship between not working for a living, being secretive about money, and being more isolated from other people. I saw on my parents the impact of the isolation and the way they could avoid facing their material through leisure, spending, and addiction. My job, though difficult, is a source of pride, integrity, and connection. It would be hard to continue facing the demands of working if I had a “way out” with inherited money and less accountability.
At a gather-in a few years ago with owning-class young adults, Jo Saunders [International Liberation Reference Person for Owning-Class People] said that inherited money comes with inherited powerlessness. To turn that around, I have found that giving away inherited money gives me access to bigger sessions about putting myself at the center and figuring out what I want to go after [pursue] in my life.
DIRECTION TWO: TAKING CHARGE AS A YOUNGER FEMALE
A surprising amount of discharge and connection was required at each step of giving away my inheritance—learning about my inherited money, getting control of it, and deciding how to give it away. It was essential to have regular sessions with owning-class Co-Counselors who were familiar with and had attention for the project, who could back [support] me and reflect that I was thinking well.
A big part of the project was deciding when it would be useful to share my thinking with my family and when it wouldn’t. At first I felt powerless and discouraged because they “wouldn’t listen to me” and “didn’t get it” [didn’t understand it]. Through discharge, I realized that I didn’t need to wait for my family’s permission to take charge. I could keep reaching toward them and offering perspective when it seemed useful, but the decision to give away my money could and should be made separately from what was possible on their timeline.
Young adults’ oppression, sexism, and “mental health” oppression made me feel like deciding to give away my inheritance was an “irresponsible,” “stupid,” and “crazy” decision that I would later regret. I worried that giving it away would get in the way of my relationships with my brothers. I now believe that taking up space in my relationships with them (like asking that we have affordable family activities) is essential for us to have the possibility of closeness.
DIRECTION THREE: NOT DOING IT ALONE
Once I decided to give the money away, I faced a lot of discouragement about how to do it and felt sure I would “do it wrong.” After a few weeks of regular sessions with owning-class Co-Counselors, I was able to remember that, unlike in the past, I did not need to figure this out alone. Several people (in RC and in the wide world) helped me think it through. Three groups were especially significant:
- A crew of younger female owning-class Co-Counselors I’ve been close to since entering Co-Counseling and with whom I get to have big, embarrassing sessions about being “filthy rich”
- Beloved older owning-class allies who show they love me and trust my thinking (it was my RC teacher and Area Reference Person who encouraged me to share my thinking with this e-mail list)
- Resource Generation, a wide-world owning-class young adult organization that encourages giving boldly and organizes their constituency to be part of justice movements
My partner, raised middle class, also became an ally as we thought together about how to give away the money. Ultimately, we decided to give forty percent to national organizations (including Re-evaluation Counseling Community Resources) and sixty percent to local organizations, including several re-granting organizations [organizations that would give funds to intermediary organizations that would then give out and manage smaller sub-grants].
THE DECISION TO GIVE IT AWAY
My plan was to give away ten percent of my money each year until it was gone. I used the “decide, act, discharge” process and each time noticed that I was still safe and financially stable. Oftentimes, because of fluctuations in the stock market, I could barely tell that the money was gone! On the flip side, the organizations that received the money were greatly impacted. It felt good to send it to where it was felt and invested in real people as opposed to letting it continue to enrich myself, investors, and massive corporations.
Hoarding the money had been depriving organizations of much needed funds to operate, as well as standing in the way of my re-emergence. At a certain point (having given away about twenty percent of the money), I felt comfortable enough to decide to give it all away. The decision and (more important) the action of giving it away created a feeling of empowerment as a woman and worker, the ability to notice more closely my relationships and interdependence with others, and relief from the burden of secrecy.
SUMMARY
Not being dependent on inherited wealth, deciding to be in charge as a younger female, and doing it all in connection with others have been at the core of my re-emergence throughout my ten years in RC. Believe it or not, I now enjoy my owning-class Co-Counseling sessions and support group! I still have lots of areas in which I need more discharge, but I can focus more attentively now on my potential impact as a world changer rather than feeling fraught and stuck about what to do with the money.
USA
Reprinted from the RC e-mail discussion list for leaders of owning-class people
(Present Time 201, October 2020)