Understanding and Responding to Elders’ Oppression
There is no group of people who are the agents of elder oppression, who are in a position of power over elders. People of all ages (except very young children) have been taught misinformation and can act in ways that are damaging to elders.
With some oppressions, a group of people have been trained into the role of agent of the oppression. Their job is to act out the oppression on behalf of the system in exchange for some perceived privilege or safety. Such oppressions include classism, sexism, racism, genocide, the oppression of young people, and anti-Semitism.
There are also oppressions that come from the economic system via various institutions and mechanisms rather than from a specific group of people (agents of the oppression). Some of these are the oppressions of parents, men—and elders.
Elders are as valuable to human society as are any other group of people. We are smart, fun, loving, creative, and courageous. The world would be lost without us!
Yet the oppressive economic system values humans only for how productive they are at creating wealth for the owning class, and age is one of the factors that enters into the calculation.
The system values our precious young people for their potential to create wealth in the future. And classism, racism, sexism, disability oppression, and other oppressions determine how resources are allocated to their survival to adulthood.
It values adults only as workers who create wealth for the owning class. And it makes elders expendable when any of the following happen:
- We become less productive due to being worn down by work and oppression.
- We have not been trained in needed skills.
- Cheaper labor is available.
- Fewer workers are needed.
Our age, our biology, is the excuse for our being judged as expendable. It is the excuse for elder oppression, not the reason for it. Economic oppression (classism) is the reason for our oppression.
RESPONDING TO THE OPPRESSION
I was recently asked a great question: “Since no age group is the agent of elder oppression, what does this mean in terms of us elders counseling non-elders on their oppressive feelings about us?” She then gave examples of non-elders saying hurtful things to her.
Elders and our allies must never stay quiet when oppression comes at us, no matter where it comes from, but many of us struggle with how to best respond. I have found it helpful to discharge on “If the person in front of me is not my oppressor, where is the oppression coming from and what can I do about it?” The following is an example from my life outside RC:
My father was living with my family and became violent due to confusions caused by Alzheimer’s disease. We could not keep him or others (including my mother and teenage daughter) safe in our home. With few choices available, we found him a “good” nursing home. Family members were with him ten hours a day in shifts. Even though there was that much family involvement, I was appalled by the poor care and angry with the staff for the elder oppression directed at my dad.
With lots of discharge, I realized that the staff were not the problem. The nursing home was under-staffed and under-resourced. It was owned by a corporation that owned many other nursing homes and whose real purpose was to make money for the owners. The residents, their families, and the staff were all in the same seemingly powerless position. Understanding this enabled me to start a “family counsel” for the purpose of supporting residents, families, and staff.
The staff grew to trust me, and we could talk about problems. And the corporation was scared of us once we organized. We were able to pressure it to improve conditions for everyone. We also successfully lobbied our state legislature to raise the minimum wage for some nursing home workers. Needless to say, this all improved my father’s experience in the nursing home.
As we better understand elder oppression, we will become more effective at challenging and ending it. Everyone has been taught horrible misinformation about elders, and we can’t blame them for it. What will make a positive difference for us, for the other person, and for ending elder oppression? The following are some things we can do in RC:
- We can see that elder liberation is taught in our RC classes and explain that, similar to what we do with all oppressions, non-elders should not counsel about elders with elders without their permission.
- We can join or form an elder support group, so we aren’t alone trying to figure things out.
- If a non-elder starts a session with us about elders, without our permission, we can tell them that we cannot or do not want to be their counselor on that topic.
- We can show our elder selves boldly and proudly and give a more accurate picture of the reality of elders.
- We can hold out an expectation that non-elders will be our allies. If we have the attention and desire, we can offer to counsel them on elder oppression. If we do not, we can refer them to non-elders.
- We can notice if we are in the oppressor role to someone who is targeting us with oppressive behavior. If so, we can discharge and think about how we can remain an ally as we reach for the person to be our ally.
- When we cannot figure out how to respond to some oppressive behavior, we can follow up with the person at a later time, perhaps with a third person present.
- In sessions, we can “blame the person” if it brings discharge, but the goal is to get beyond early feelings of victimization and to take action toward ending elder oppression by reaching for others and making them our allies.
What else can you think of? I’m glad to be growing older with you!
Yarmouth, Maine, USA
Reprinted from the RC e-mail discussion list for leaders of elders
(Present Time 201, October 2020)