I live in a borough of New York City (USA). New York City is currently the epicenter of COVID-19 in the United States, having seven percent of worldwide cases. The curve of infection is increasing at the time of this writing. This borough has the most confirmed cases in the city, and testing is just getting off the ground [just getting started]. The governor projects we will need 150,000 beds; we currently have only a third of that. The epidemic is projected to peak in about two weeks.


We immediately began having nightly discharge groups on Zoom and a discharge group for healthcare workers. There will be groups for teachers and necessary workers. 


We are giving people lots of room to show how scared they are. Initially, there was a lot of denial here as elsewhere in the United States. But as the virus has become more apparent, people have become increasingly frightened. The social distancing has restimulated folks’ feelings of being on their own [by themselves]. We remind everyone that they can have a home base on Zoom calls.


It’s been useful to talk about using good judgment—knowing if you have judgment, where you are vulnerable to losing it, and working on early distress related to it. It’s important to contact trusted Co-Counselors and Reference People to check one’s judgment because we are having to make what feel like, or actually are, life and death choices. I’ve noticed terrified people making poor choices and have spoken to them about the need to social distance and use good judgment.


Many people have partners and housemates who are not thinking well. I was surprised to find out how “off” [irrational] people’s judgment has often been. It’s important not to leave folks alone to think through this. I’ve observed that people’s struggles here are nearly always rooted in early struggles. We need to communicate that we are not trying to supplant their thinking but that they must think about everything right now—their own safety, the safety of others, their family, and the medical establishment that will be overwhelmed. When we decide to risk exposure, as in the case of some workers, it needs to be done with intention and thinking. 


It’s helpful when people can access the early hurts connected with their decisions, with the material [distress] that might drive them in a particular direction. I counseled a man who works in a hospital; his distresses pull him to compulsively help people. From age two he was the sibling who held his physically abusive father accountable. This decision guided his whole life. He could cry hard about the decision and how bound to it he feels in his work.


I’ve noticed that some people become scared active and scared compulsive. Others are scared frozen and inhibited. Some are all of these. I’ve counseled people on where they lose connection, get isolated, and fall into patterned thinking. “Where did you lose connection early on? Where did you have to give up on people? Where does that make you vulnerable now?”


Zoom and other online video communication can feel hard and restimulating to some people. Some experience feelings of hopelessness about connection when they can’t “touch” another person. Some discharge well on longing to touch someone’s hand while on Zoom.


For LGBTQ folks the pandemic has brought up memories and feelings about the AIDS epidemic and the terrible losses that happened at that time. We are also paying attention to the targeting and racism directed at Asians, the collapse of society, Trump’s amplification of irrationality, and the escalation of oppression and violence. Working-class, immigrant, and undocumented folks are being hit hard by oppression here and elsewhere.