I attended the Women’s and Men’s Leaders’ Workshop [see previous article]. For years I have struggled to “want” to attend women’s workshops. I have an early memory of my mother. She was becoming more politically active in the Asian American community and wanted to share her ideas with the women’s movement of the early 1970s. She came home from a women’s meeting disappointed and angry because no one (in the primarily white female group) would listen to her ideas.


At the time I was oppressed by racism in a mostly white high school, and I just wanted to know that life gets better as you get older. To see my mother struggle with racism in the same way I struggled was devastating. I’ve had to discharge on the disappointment and hopelessness to be able to attend women’s workshops. Racism and being female are still intertwined for me, and I continue to untangle the two.


Sexism can make us silent. I’ve had to decide not to be silent. This is my first post to the women’s list. As I discharge on not being silent, I notice that racism can get in the way of my noticing that I have thinking. I’ve recalled RC workshops at which People of the Global Majority were encouraged to be the first ones to say their thoughts or ask questions and my mind going blank. I’ve interpreted this to mean that I don’t actually have any questions or thoughts. But now I have to ask myself, “Where am I scared? What do I need to discharge to know my own mind?”


I think of my two-year-old grandchild who always has something to say, even if it’s unrelated to the topic at hand [being discussed]. I’m glad to have this as a guide, as something that shows me that human beings naturally have their minds and want to share their thinking.