I have recently completed teaching another RC fundamentals class. Teaching the segment where we ask, “What goals do we have for ourselves? Our family? Our allies?” made me re-establish my personal goals for my RC allies. This included their work on their racism.
Improvements are needed in many of our RC Communities. People of the Global Majority (PGM) are brought into RC and do not stay long in the Community. Excuses are made that can place the blame on the PGM.
Racism is still often viewed as a problem for “others” and as not really having a negative impact on white people. Please look at how you have been impacted. Look at what you have missed out on [not experienced] by not having close, loving relationships with PGM outside and inside of RC. Remember that an important RC Community goal is ending racism and prioritize that goal, starting with yourself.
I want to share some of my feelings about RC and racism. Some of my most intense and painful experiences have been in RC. In the outside world, racism, whether systemic, overt, or subtly shady, is expected and is dealt with in many different manners. It is expected that it will be played out [expressed] in unsuspected ways. PGM keep our eyes open to the possibility that what is happening is a result of the identities we carry. This is necessary for survival as well as exhausting.
In RC we have a well-thought-out theory. Folks are encouraged to work hard to eliminate racism and discharge on their identity challenges. Unaware racism is not expected. When racism catches me unaware in RC, it feels like a major, open-wound betrayal. I have been verbally attacked in classes and groups of “good white people” whom I thought I knew and trusted and have been caught off guard [unprepared].
As white people you can’t have experienced what it feels like when racist mistreatment and ignorance of oppression theory are directed at you and not a single person speaks up—that moment when everyone in the room is aware that an incredible gaffe [mistake] has been made and a long, empty silence hangs in the air. Everyone is aware of the racially insensitive remark, yet not one person comes to assist or address the obvious uncomfortable, awkward moment.
Usually, if I take the initiative to counsel with the individual about it, I may hear, “I don’t recall . . . .” In other words, “I can’t be bothered to remember because it wasn’t important enough to me.” Or, “You misunderstood; it wasn’t racist but a class issue.” (No oppression is okay.) Or, “When you see me say or do something racist, could you tell me?”
It is not the responsibility of a member of an oppressed group to identify the patterns being acted out by someone in the oppressor role. People in oppressed groups are dealing with so much more than those in the oppressor roles can begin to comprehend. If I choose to care enough about our relationship to tell you that you’ve said something racist and you respond with, “Couldn’t you say it a little nicer?” this is off-putting and dismissive of what has been shared with you. The funny part is that by the time we are having this conversation, I have taken it to several sessions, and this is the nicest version of how I feel about the behavior aimed at me. A Person of the Global Majority should not have to fight against these repeatedly oppressive behaviors, seemingly alone.
Something else that happens is the “interview,” the one-sided questioning of those new to RC. “Who taught you fundamentals? Did they review the ‘Blue Pages’? How many weeks was your class? How do you know so-and-so?” All of this is done without sharing any information about themselves and can be, or seem to be, questioning the new person’s RC competence and knowledge. I’ve even been quizzed about where I studied in college!
An “altering” experience
I recently had an altering experience around the tackling of racist behaviors in RC. A Zoom call was set up with the Global Majority leaders in my Region prior to a workshop led by Rudy Nickens (Regional Reference Person for Iowa, Kansas, Missouri, and Nebraska, USA). I was bringing two new-to-RC PGM Co-Counselors to the workshop. The organizer asked us what would help the workshop go better for my group. I shared my concerns about some of the ways that racism shows up at Co-Counseling events. She sent out an e-mail to white Co-Counselors in our Region. Here are some excerpts from her e-mail:
“As we get ready for our Regional Ending Racism and Building Diverse Communities Workshop, I’m inviting you to a one-hour Zoom call for us white Co-Counselors to discharge and think together. Joining the call is completely optional. But having this time together will help the workshop go better both for us and for our beloved Co-Counselors of the Global Majority. It will let us arrive more connected to each other and with our minds headed in a common direction.
“Barbara Love (International Liberation Reference Person for African Heritage People) has been encouraging Co-Counselors to get better at noticing how ‘domination’ behaviors show up within RC. We are good, committed, loving, brilliant people who want things to go well for everyone! So, if we noticed those behaviors, we wouldn’t do those things! The better we get at noticing them, the better we will get at changing things. Since many of these same patterns show up across all oppressions, this work moves us forward on many fronts at once. (Don’t you just love that?!)
“On this call, we will have a mini-session to notice how we see domination patterns showing up at our RC workshops. We’ll share our lists with each other to help us all get a bigger picture of how these things play out [are acted out]. After that, we’ll have another mini to discharge on whatever gets in our way of thoughtfully interrupting those behaviors—in ourselves or when we see them playing out around us.
“We are thoroughly good people and get to be pleased with ourselves! At the same time, oppressive conditioning has kept us from moving as fast as we would like to end oppression.
“Working on things in this way is a really helpful and hopeful approach to moving ourselves and our Region forward. I hope you will try to join one of the calls!”
Co-Counseling is an incredibly valuable tool and resource for me. Because of my commitment to myself and my Co-Counselors I stay in RC when many others have chosen to escape the unaware oppressive patterns and behaviors aimed at us. I am a diligent Co-Counselor. I have regular hour-and-fifteen-minute face-to-face sessions several times a week.
Many times, I have thought that without the “sacred space” created in Black Liberation and Community Development Workshops and my Black support group, I could not continue in RC. I love Rudy’s [Rudy Nickens’s] words: “Racism existed before race.” It reminds us that racism is an artificial construct designed to keep a mindset in place to assure that wealth can be acquired by the “one percent.”
Trusting one’s Co-Counselor is key in any Co-Counseling relationship. I cannot forget yet I do try to forgive the past betrayals. I am still “in a counseling relationship” due to our Community-designed circumstances, but so far, I can never trust enough that I can relax thoroughly and give all of myself. I have to stay on guard and vigilant in order to be ready to respond to another incident of hurtful behavior and do so in a clear, rational, elegant manner. After all, I am always placed in a position of being expected to fall into the role of the classic “angry Black woman.” That is a role they can easily dismiss and choose not to engage with, due to my perceived “damage.” This is not a safe way to be in a Co-Counseling Community that seeks to be a safe, brave environment.
The manner in which M— organized and thought well of all of us was exemplary. For me this was the first time the safety of a workshop was heightened! My “newbies” [new participants] felt totally at ease to interact, be authentically themselves, get deeper discharge, and find folks that they wanted to Co-Counsel with upon returning home.
A year ago, I would not have thought this possible. I had wondered if we would ever see a shift toward our primary goal of ending white racist patterns within RC. I see hope and am optimistic that a shift has begun. It will be important that my good white-people allies continue to uncover their own unaware racist and superiority oppressor patterns and begin the patient process of “checking” their own behavior, delving deeper into their own societally accepted roadblocks, and interrupting the unaware oppressor patterns of their own people.
I deeply appreciate the brilliance of Barbara Love’s leadership in this work and the thorough follow- through of our workshop organizer that reaped an incredible result for all of the PGM Co-Counselors in attendance.