It is a contradiction to the message of racism to be visible with my voice, my mind. I am discharging on the heartbreak of racism and its effect on me and my people. For me, it is like a dam breaching or a festering wound breaking open. 


Some of us, like me, may feel shocked into numbness. We may find it hard initially to share with people who are not African heritage. I think the first thing to be done by all is to discharge, discharge, discharge. Undoubtedly many feelings come to mind for all of us. 


I think it important that our allies be brutally honest in noticing and discharging on the feelings that come up about the horrific murder of Mr. Floyd, as well as any feelings about the protests and demonstrations. 


This work is not about white people trying to get something right on their own [by themselves]. This is about the interruption of connection to wonderful humans of African descent. It is about reclaiming the connection, taking on the fight to stay in there, and doing it. 


There have been centuries of lies, misinformation, injustice, marginalization, mistreatment, and killings of my people. There are tons of [huge amounts of] unaware behavior and oppressive actions that we notice, deal with, or file away on a regular basis. To think best about us, you have to see us as fully human, equal to you in every way, knowing that we have as brilliant minds, as good souls, and are as wonderful as every other human. 


The mistreatment and messages of racism toward African-heritage people are aware and unaware and are deeply embedded in our society. It’s important that there be an acknowledgment of the disconnection, misinformation, and unawareness. 


The abuse, mistreatment, and killings of my people are personal and heartbreaking. In the 1950s a cousin was killed by white men, and an uncle was threatened with death unless he left the state before sunup. He did not return for fifty years, too terrified to post a letter to his family or return for the funerals of his mother and a sister. 


A white man came to our church when I was about age ten and threatened to come to our house and kill my dad that evening. Several men from the church went home and got their guns and waited at our house into the night. Three white farmers were made aware of the situation and promised my dad this would never happen again. It didn’t, and these men contributed to our annual homecoming for years until they died. 


Once, while walking on our country road, three white men in a truck aimed it at me. Last year, as I was walking by a white man on the sidewalk, he said, “I could kill you and everybody that looks like you.” 


Once, on a bus, a white woman told me to move from my seat near her because I was Black and I “smelled.” After politely asking her if she was aware of which century she lived in, she continued to say derogatory things about me. I cursed her out soundly and told her to shut up and not say another word, which she did. When I exited the bus later a white man got off and congratulated me and said she had been harassing a Black man on the bus before me; however, neither he nor anyone else on the bus had said anything.


In the midst of the Katrina disaster, during which many residents, mostly Black, were stuck in that building asking for help, a cashier in a store said with a smirk, “So are you going to go down there and help those people?” I did not smash the cash register into his face. I have also experienced the following: Being followed in stores as if I would steal. Waiting in line to purchase something and the cashier looking at the white person behind me and saying, “Next.” When I spoke up, their saying, “Oh I didn’t see you.” In another time and store, I was the only one waiting in line and the cashier came forward but asked loudly in the small store, “Who’s next?” and waited to see if the two other customers, who were white, would say they were ready. 


There have been many, many, many more situations like this. I mostly want you to know that we experience targeting and mistreatment on a continual basis. 


There was a Zoom call recently with Barbara Love (International Liberation Reference Person for African Heritage People). Almost a hundred RCers of African heritage from around the diaspora showed up [came]. It was tremendously empowering to see each other, connect, and discharge. We have a shared experience of being continually assaulted by the ongoing oppressive messages and behavior of racism. Our history is that we were stolen from Africa and chained in the most inhumane of circumstances in the bottom of a ship. Many thousands died during the voyage to the Americas. We were sold, misused, and abused horrifically. Africans were seen as not human (as savages) and stupid. 


The reality is we are descendants of a brilliant and powerful people with a sense of community and connection to other humans and our environment. It is important for all humans to keep that in the forefront of their minds. It is important for us to stand together and stand up against all oppression and injustice.