The Hurt Is Now Over
Dear Tim (Jackins),
The young me felt so threatened, so amidst the battle, that safety was an issue. The abuse was ongoing. I never knew when or where it would happen. I just knew it could happen anytime and usually when I was least expecting it. As to why, I was told that it was “my fault.”
Do you have any ideas for how to approach working on this early distress? Is the young me supposed to be the one discharging? I have found it nearly impossible to help her discharge—because, as I said, for her it’s going to happen again; it is not over.
A -
Dear A—,
Our young selves were so threatened and defeated that it is confusing if we can’t clearly remember that the past is over and does not have to determine the present or future.
It is you discharging on what happened to that young one. Those hurtful experiences are now over. She did not have the opportunity to discharge, and you do. It wasn’t safe for her, but that has ended.
It is you here in the present that we are concerned about having the best life possible. We cannot change what happened to her, and we don’t need to—as unfortunate and sad as it was. You survived. The battle is to discharge the effects of the old experiences so that you can go forward without the distress.
Love, Tim Jackins
(Present Time 198, January 2020)