“Age-Related Forgetfulness”
I will soon be seventy-five, and recently I was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment (MCI) or, informally, “age-related forgetfulness.” On top of that I had surgery (on my foot), with general anesthesia. My memory is intact, but I am slower to come up with [think of] names or other words.
According to current thinking in the medical profession, there is a difference between MCI and dementia. The thinking is that MCI involves minor slowing of memory and speech and that dementia is a more serious disorder of the mental processes, caused by brain disease or injury, and is progressive. Apparently MCI doesn’t necessarily lead to dementia.
It is plausible that MCI, as well as dementia, is caused in part by the accumulation of undischarged distress. (Remember in The Human Side of Human Beings the schematic drawing of a brain with rigid patterns?)
I’ve decided to live fully, get as much information as I can, and discharge. I refuse to give up. This doesn’t mean pretending to feel good. It means living in the present while “leaning” into the future.
I remember a time in my early fifties when I was getting a haircut and the young woman cutting my hair was reprimanded for not having done something. Her boss asked her why she hadn’t done it, and her response was simply, “I forgot.” That was the end of the story. No feelings about it. It was a simple error, and her boss simply walked away. If she had been over fifty, the result would have been different.
As a person ages, simple everyday forgetfulness takes on [assumes] a new meaning. It restimulates the observer into thinking that the “forgetful” person must have “dementia.” Unlike that of the young woman, my forgetfulness is not easily dismissed. People close to me treat me as a full human being, and I treasure that, but others often don’t know what to do with me. They don’t have patience when I take a while to remember something. (My doctor says I haven’t lost any of my memory; it just takes me a while to remember.) They hide their distress and discomfort by ignoring me, when what I can use is patience and love. I am the same me; just a bit slower. My intelligence is very much intact.
My forgetfulness is at an early stage, and if all goes well it should not worsen. Am I scared? Sure! But I have pioneered health-related work in RC for many years, and I intend to keep doing that—this time with memory as my target. I am currently on sabbatical from my role as International Liberation Reference Person for Elders, but I am discharging intensely with the goal of regaining my full abilities.
Recently I had an Intensive [twenty hours of one-way Re-evaluation Counseling, for a fee] at Re-evaluation Counseling Community Resources, in Seattle, Washington, USA. I spent the entire week discharging on early defeats, and at the end of the week life looked different. I am now more pleased with myself and happier. My goal is to refuse to give up. I will continue to discharge on my early defeats.
I challenge those of you who are elders to work on your fears of growing older and how aging can affect us. Set up elders’ groups and take them seriously. Read Harvey Jackins’s pamphlet Is Death Necessary? Then discharge on whatever you need to and stay with it—into a long and healthy life, with lots of love.
Bellaire, Texas, USA