A Family Workshop Highlight
It was wonderful to attend the Uganda family workshop led by Chuck Esser and Pamela Haines. The following is one of my highlights.
A two-year-old girl, G—, was lying on a mattress next to her older sister. I attempted to interact with her, and she began punching me and pulling forcefully on my nametag. F—, an RCer, was sitting next to her. I asked him what was going on [happening]. He said she was angry because her father had brought her there and left her.
I asked Chuck to help me. He sat down next to G—. She punched him, while he maintained a smile. Finally she took a breath and cried loudly. We watched as she cried. After a few minutes she took another breath and leaned against F—. She was calm now and watched her sister, who was painting some balloons. Later I picked G— up and started swinging her. She was cheerful, laughing, and happy and continued to be friendly to me for the rest of the time. Chuck explained that the anger toward her father had been displaced on us and that we hadn’t done anything wrong.
As I processed this, I realized that I had misunderstood when anger had been directed at me. It hadn’t been personal; the angry person had just needed to discharge.
I was so happy to see men playing with the young people. This is a “no-no” [is not acceptable] in African culture—the child belongs to the woman, and the father is the provider and a “no-nonsense” person. This is an effect of war.
I am glad that Chuck and Pamela are so committed to this continent and happy that African leaders are embracing family work.
Nairobi, Kenya
(Present Time 191, April 2018)