People who have known me for a long time often say that there is “something about me,” something different in the way I do things. They ask me why this is.


I have found it hard to use the word “RC,” because it doesn’t mean anything to them. Instead I suggest that we each take five minutes to share our thoughts, starting with me. I ask them to listen to me without saying much—to look directly in my eyes, hold my hands, and focus only on what I am saying. That is, to just be there. 


When I finish, I do the same for them and follow it by asking, “How do you feel?” 


Then I ask, “Can we take another ten minutes each, in exactly the same way?” By the time we finish, the person often says they are feeling good and that they never thought they would feel so free to share something so personal: “I don’t know how I could do this.” Then I explain: “I tried to be totally there for you. I showed you that I was with you. I was as close as possible. I held your hands so that you could feel you were with somebody and could feel comfortable, relaxed, and trusting.” I also talk about confidentiality and say not to repeat what they heard to anyone.


I have done this with up to twenty people, and several of them have asked me if we could meet again. I’ve slowly decided to bring them together as a group. 


This is how I’ve spread the theory and practice of RC and implemented my RC skills.