A Great Opportunity to Gather as Women
Last Sunday afternoon I held a women’s gathering at my house. I had been planning to do it since right after the U.S. presidential election, when I’d gone to several all-women’s gatherings and seen the need to share the tool of RC. The women had been talking about taking action politically but also wanting to see the world heal from all the divisions among different groups. This, as well as seeing that women needed to discharge about the election loss, helped me know that I had a great opportunity to gather my closest female friends and share more about myself and RC and what I spend so much time doing!
I was scared, but it was a perfect chance to decide-act-discharge and take some leadership in my wide-world community.
I invited my closest women friends who live in the area, some women I wanted to get closer to, and the women who had invited me to their gatherings. I cast a fairly wide net but also limited the group so I could think about everyone there to a certain extent.
Luckily, my Area’s monthly women’s support group met on the morning of the gathering, so I had some good female support right beforehand. I had a good session in the group, but some early fear came up and I ended up feeling shaky and restimulated and had a hard time getting my attention out. (Pushing oneself forward by taking leadership while simultaneously using RC can get at the good stuff!)
I asked my sister-in-law, who lives right below me and is in RC, to be my ally during the gathering. She was super-enthusiastic about what I was doing, and it helped to know that at least one person had my back [would support me].
Ten women ended up coming. Everyone socialized casually for about an hour while we waited for one of my closest and oldest friends to arrive. During this time I relaxed a bit. Seeing my great women friends getting to know and enjoy each other got my attention out.
Then we formed a circle in my living room. I told everyone why I had gathered them together, and each woman said how she knew me, why she was there, and something that was significant to her about the women’s marches, whether she had attended one or not. Quite a few women discharged as they said why it mattered to them to support me and my friendship, or to get together with other women, or both. I was surprised at the depth of the emotions people had about their connection with me, and I found it remarkable how eager they seemed to be to get together as women and talk about women’s issues and sexism in the current time.
Next I told them about my trip to Washington, D.C. (USA) for the Women’s March and about No Limits for Women. Then I gave a mini-introduction to RC and we did two short mini-sessions. For the first one, I asked them what had been hard about being a woman, or how sexism had affected them, in the past week. For the second one, I asked what had been hard for them about the post-election time. Finally, we did a quick attention-out go-around on what we liked about being female, something we liked about being together, and what we had learned that day.
Afterward people left quite quickly, and I had a hard time not feeling like they hadn’t liked what I had done. (In reality, it was 5:00 p.m. on a Sunday evening, all the mothers needed to get home to their families, and it was the end-time of the event.) I did some discharging, but it is taking time for me to see the significance of what I did and to be pleased with myself. Luckily, I know my chronic distress about feeling like I have to do everything perfectly and can see it as that. My sister-in-law said it went really well, and I was glad that at least she could tell!
Since Sunday, quite a few friends have let me know that the afternoon was significant to them. It has been helpful and sweet to hear these responses. One woman had a re-evaluation about how to approach a challenge in her relationship with her mother, and another asked to be included in any future groups like this.
Re-evaluation Counseling is so revolutionary. It can be scary to share it, because it goes so much against society’s messages about closeness, connection, and showing feelings. We are trained all our lives to keep a tight lid on all that!
San Francisco, California, USA
Reprinted from the RC e-mail discussion list for leaders of women
(Present Time 187, April 2017)