My Guidelines for Using Facebook
I do quite a bit on Facebook. I have friends from the far right to the far left. Here are some guidelines I follow:
I don’t respond out of painful emotion or use my post for a session.
I don’t share sarcastic memes or “humor.”
I only forward things that convey information, and I try to have these not be “anti” anything but just correct information with perhaps a small comment from me.
I post lots of nature photos. I share music videos and other examples of upward-trend creativity. I want to build a picture of myself that interests people. Friends on the left and right enjoy my pictures of times with my family and of nature.
I have two motivations for my posts: One is to encourage my political base. The other is to engage with people who are not of my base in a way that doesn’t push them further away, sound condescending, and so on. I like to use things from my personal experience; people can’t take offense at these so easily as something directed at them.
(Remember, we want to keep these friends.)
I think it is always better to respond in my own voice than to just forward something.
It is good not to leave a lie or an appeal to distress unchallenged—but not so good to argue. I might say, “My Muslim friends are having a hard time because of this”—again, making it personal. If they respect me, they will listen to what I say.
I often appreciate people I disagree with on some things by agreeing with them on other things or appreciating that they are thoughtful people. Many of them are.
I sometimes lightly interrupt exchanges between friends that start to get ugly—“Ouch! A little harsh.” It’s good to stick up for [speak in favor of] respecting people we disagree with.
I share news that people will not get from other sources (for example, news from Standing Rock) and try to get the most personal and least reactive news I can.
I think we have to remember that we are in this for the long haul [for a long period of time] and don’t want to alienate people.
Many people do not know how to express their thoughts, so they grab memes that convey their feelings but not necessarily what they think. I try to engage people off-line, too, and often find that their actual thoughts are much more complex than they can state in a post. It is good to always expect the best from them and to invite that.
Freeport, Maine, USA
Reprinted from the RC e-mail discussion list for USA issues
(Present Time 187, April 2017)