Single Working Moms
Three of us who are single working moms met recently and shared experiences. Here is what we said we liked about being single working moms:
• We get to try an unlimited number of things.
• We get to make many decisions and learn from them.
• We are fully in charge of our relationships with our children and are the undisputed leader of our family.
• We have close and respectful relationships with our children.
• We get to think freshly.
• We understand capitalism—it’s much harder to have illusions.
• We get to be a team with our children in figuring out our lives together.
• We get to openly care in every way—practically, unequivocally, and on a day-to-day basis.
• We learn to prioritize, be efficient, and do lots of things at once.
• We have to be physically fit.
• We don’t depend on anyone to take care of us.
• We get to trust ourselves and take risks.
Being single working moms is also difficult. Below are some of the things we said were hard:
• The amount of work is overwhelming—no one else ever buys a container of milk; the dishes are still in the sink when we get home.
• We have to spend a lot of time away from our children.
• Nobody understands our life and how complicated and challenging it is—the thousands of details we handle—except other single parents.
• We try to make ourselves available to our children whenever they need us; we are always ready to put aside other priorities for that.
• We’re exhausted.
• We don’t have time to reflect on our accomplishments.
• We sometimes miss having someone with whom to think about decisions.
• There is no one to tag-team* with.
• Isolation, a reality for all parents, is especially heavy for us.
• We often have less money and fewer resources than parents who are not single.
Randy Karr
Jacqueline Barton
Sharon Peters
Brooklyn, New York, USA
* “Tag-team” means take turns doing the work.