Women Thinking About, and Offering Leadership to, Men
At the Women's Liberation Workshop (January 1997) I convened a topic group, 'Women Leading Men's Liberation.' Here is some of what was said by the twelve women who participated.
WHAT DOES LEADING MEN'S LIBERATION LOOK LIKE TO YOU?
- Making a decision to consciously connect with men from the point of view of benign reality.
- Making friends with men. Bringing men into RC.
- Not blaming men. Taking responsibility for our distress and letting them take responsibility for theirs.
- Standing up for men without caretaking.
- Recognizing men have deep oppression: caring about them; reaching out; not giving up.
- Being honest with men about our needs and feelings. Recognizing they need women to tell them the truth. Having courage to tell them our truth.
- Recognizing how much difficulty men have in trusting.
- Understanding that we can get further faster if we work together. Men who have been hurt into being overly independent may have a hard time joining communities, even though it's what they crave. Women have information about and experience in this that men can learn from.
- Women initiating more.
- Not seeing working-class men as fair game. Making a commitment not to 'male bash' or tell 'redneck' jokes.
- Recognizing what it's like for individuals who have been socialized to stay out of touch with emotions, e.g., trained from birth to be ready to go to war.
- Understandin g that part of men's oppression is to not admit there's anything wrong. To go to counselling is to admit defeat. The message is, 'You're not a man if you can't handle things on your own.'
- Reading Men.
- Recognizing that some men think about sex all the time. Not game playing-we need to do our own work around sex. Displaying relaxed delight at whatever comes up in a counselling session.
- Recognizing we are all liberated hand in hand: women's liberation equals men's liberation and vice versa.
- Realizing that the closer we get to women, the closer we can get to men.
- Discharging on the reality that all men are good, not just a few.
- Supporting men in getting closer to one another and their fathers and sons.
- No liberation with hierarchy; challenging hierarchy.
WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT MEN?
- Sex with them.
- Their power and strength; protectiveness.
- Companionship.
- That they've come a long way.
- That they're great allies and challengers.
- That they're sentimental and romantic; vulnerable.
- Their directness.
- That they have no limits; freedom.
- The way they smell.
- How much fathers love their children.
- Their sense of humour.
- Their spontaneity.
Donna MacDermot
Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
reprinted from the newsletter for the RC Community in
East Vancouver, British Columbia
Last modified: 2022-12-25 10:17:04+00